Mimpi yuk!

did you ever feel hopeless?
did you ever feel clueless?
did you ever feel useless?

fighting with someone, not feeling to tell anyone, confused, frustrated, lost. i believe that kind of things are still normal for a teenager, like me. still unstable. full of emotion, so sensitive.

sometimes i have no mood booster to make up my mood again, and finally ended up crying. Crying isn't bad. Crying doesn't mean you're weak, crying is just like relaxing your self. Let out all of emotion. Anger, sadness, fear, happiness.

but the most beneficial thing for me to let go of that is music. The melody, the words, it's just perfect. You can always find a perfect song that match you. Falling in love, missing someone, losing someone, confused.

I ended up in bed, crying, hugging my bolster, with cellphone and headphone that plugged in. Put the headphone, and start to shuffle the songs. So many sad songs that made me even more crying.

when I started to conscious a bit, I paid more attention to the lyrics.


In this time of fear
When prayers so often prove in vain
Hope seems like the summer birds
So swiftly flown away
- When You Believe (Mariah Carey)



Yes. My prayers so often prove in vain, then the hopeless came, and made my day rotten.

They don't always happen when you ask
And it's easy to give in to your fears
But when your blinded by your pain
Can't see your way straight through the rain
- When You Believe (Mariah Carey)



why God did not grant my prayer? I blinded by my own pain. Blaming God for that. Feel betrayed by my own prayers.

There can be miracles
When you believe
Through hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
Somehow you will
You will when you believe
-When You Believe (Mariah Carey)



It's just a matter of believing. You should believe that you can achieve anything that you dream of. mark that, ANYTHING. you know the words saying "Nothing impossible".
and just like Justin Bieber said,


I will never say never
I will fight till forever
Whenever you knock me down
I will not stay on the ground
- Never Say Never (Justin Bieber)



last magic words for you guys!!

And the dreams
That you've dreamed of
Dreams really do come true
- Somewhere Over The Rainbow